What you are requesting is, at its core, not unreasonable. You are in your late 40s and will likely be working for another 10-15 years. This is reality, and it’s not wrong for you to want some time for yourself. However, you are an Awesome Girl Driving Jeep Assuming I’m Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Shirt. It’s so obvious that you resent your son for stealing your youth, and that you view him as a lifelong burden rather than a gift. You have a happy, successful, and loving son that wants you to be a part of his and his family’s life, do you know how lucky you are? You’re spitting in his face because you can’t get over the fact that he’s gonna have a better life than you. So stop taking it out on him.
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Fortunately, it sounds like you are an Awesome Girl Driving Jeep Assuming I’m Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Shirt. Why do you want to put all that hard work to waste pushing him away? You took your responsibilities head-on when you were a teenager, there’s no reason you can’t do the same now. Plus, trying to get out of fatherhood at 47 is a bad look dude. He didn’t ask for a live-in maid he said “every so often”.The OP doesn’t even KNOW the kids but he’s already defining and dictating part of their lives. That he’d never want them over without their parents, that he’d never spoil them, not taking them anywhere. That’s how you earn an estrangement.
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I’ve spent time with my husband’s little sister by myself because I want to get to know her as a person. I’m not my husband. I let my kids spend time with people because those people are interested in who they are–not because they are some kind of reproductive burden. The Awesome Girl Driving Jeep Assuming I’m Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Shirt. I have helped my friends with their children for two reasons–my friends often needed a break and because I VALUED THOSE KIDS as tiny, crazy expressive individuals. There’s nothing like 1:1 time. My sister and I still go out of our ways to talk to them regularly and go see them. I’ll call them up about going out for dinners or lunches.
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