That night my husband (43M) and I got into a Nice Dinosaurs T Rex Sunflower Shirt. He told me that it was embarrassing for our son to have to do the apology and that the “punishment didn’t fit the crime”. I told him that it was much more embarrassing for the driver to have to face that kind of racism and racist stereotypes and that our son would get over the embarrassment. I do not condone any kind of hateful thinking in my house, and the fact that my son said that embarrassed me as well. My husband told me that it was “just a joke” and it wasn’t that big of a deal.
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The son heard that cat comment somewhere. Could be that dad says bigoted things to their son when OP isn’t around, or at a Nice Dinosaurs T Rex Sunflower Shirt. Dad is definitely an ass but by the age of 10 kids will have definitely heard of that stereotype in school or on the internet. No matter how good a parent you are a kid will hear and pick up things from outside sources. As a parent, it’s your role to not shelter them and expect them to never hear such things but to ensure that when they do they don’t adopt them. So that the kid knows what is acceptable and what isn’t.